Gallery

Journal

Store

My Stock

Note me

Well, I've been doing fine, but today I am very stressed! Tomorrow is that big gig I've mentioned a few times. I'm nervous. My day hasn't gone the way I want it to. I'm worried that I won't catch up to the normal word count goals in four days. I have a headache. Every little thing that goes wrong has felt like a big something going wrong to me today, and I don't like it. So, I'm writing a journal, venting out my feelings, baking some cookies with my twin and my Onii-chan, and I will relax and write and be okay. *Deep breath*. There we go, that helped a bit. Writing this will hopefully help even more...

This is NaNoWriMo. I am giving myself permission not only to make mistakes, but to write total crap. Not only to have a vague plot idea in mind when I write something, but to have no plot idea in mind at all. Not only to leave some accidental loose ends, but to throw in things I know I have no idea how to tie in. Not only to write things I think I might edit out later, but to write things I now I will edit out later. I will boost my word count by purposefully using bad turns of phrasing because the less cohesive the phrasing, the more words. I will invent words when I want to. I will not use synonyms, I will use the same word fifty times in the same paragraph. I will describe /everything/. I will not spread that description out, I will block it in then move on. I will knowingly change facts as I go along, change characters recollections of past events, etc., with the knowledge in mind that I will eventually edit it so the changes make sense. Unless I change my mind again and write things out in a different continuation before then. I will shout it from the roof tops when I do well or break personal word goals, because it gives me that extra edge of feel-good-ness that I need sometimes. I will snack as much as I want if I think it will help fuel me to write more! I will sacrifice sleep if I'm on a roll. I will sacrifice sleep if I haven't met my personal word goals for the day yet. I will write scenes out of order if I'm feeling stuck at the scene I'm working on. I will wear earplugs and ignore my family members when they speak to me.

I am not doing badly. My novel looks like a kid chucked words at it, I don't know what the next I write will be, and I'm getting bored when I haven't even gotten to the good parts yet, but I am doing fine. Every other Wrimo is having problems. Everyone's novels look like shit. Everyone is experiencing problems and stress and trouble reaching their word count. Those few Wrimos who are doing great, are mentally, emotionally,, physically, and word count-i-ly fine, are incredible super special awesome geniuses that I will never try to emulate. I am doing fine, and I will continue to do fine, even if I don't know what I'm writing. It isn't that hard to write two thousand words of who the heck knows what set in the world of my novel.

Lack of sleep is not an obstacle. Headaches are an obstacle, but pain killers were invented for a reason. Sleep is for the faint of heart. Sleep isn't for November. After my gig tomorrow, which should go just fine, I will be free of all obligations that take higher priority than NaNoWriMo. I will catch up to the word count, I will pass the word count, I will be within a thousand words of grasping 50,000 on November 29th.

Whew, that felt good. That felt really nice and liberating! Who knew writing it out would feel so nice...

Hoookay, moving on to other equally random things. Has anyone else ever thought up a musical while going to the bathroom? Is anyone else already planning the novel they're going to write next year? Is anyone else swinging between worrying they won't have enough material to reach 50K and worrying that they'll have so much material they won't be nearly finished their novel by the end of November and will likely never finish after November ends, ever? Is anyone else !vending themselves motivation, happiness, energy, and other emotions and abstract concepts in hopes that it will actually grant that feeling?

Well, my pizza's ready, so I better cut this journal short... Oh, last thing, my apologies to those who I am neglecting, for those comments that I haven't gotten around to answering, to those people I haven't had the time to feature, and to anythign else I'm neglecting and forgetting about entirely. After November, I'll get to it, and do it ten times better then I would right now. Thanks for understanding, everyone